Week One

Well I started writing my letter. And then I came back to school…and the letter kind of went out the window. So I decided to simplify it.

I want happiness. I hope that I look back in May and smile, remembering the happy. Happiness with myself, my friends, my choices, my…everything.

I want to be irrevocably happy.

And I’d like to say I’m rather confident it’s going to be a pretty attainable goal if the last week is any indication of what the future holds :)

I am having the greatest time with some of the best people. The circle is widening, the light is shining even on the dreary rainy days, and I carry this happiness within my chest like a glowing orb of light. Poetic, eh?

I've already crossed off taking a trip to the 24/7 diner (at midnight) and a night of star-gazing on the baseball field from my To Do List.

Now about this whole love thing… ;)

Things are good. I’m good. Life is good.

Now I say this all pre-classes-starting aka pre-stress. But tomorrow’s the big day so only time will tell!

Until next time :)

Words of Wisdom

My newest favorite quote is…(drum roll, please)….

If you want to make a difference in the life of our nation; if you want to make a difference in the life of a child -- become a teacher. Your country needs you.

--Barack Obama

Mondays and a Disclosure

Oh, Mondays. They come so quickly in these here parts.

It’s like you’re sitting in your last Friday afternoon and all of sudden it’s time for your 8 AM class on Monday. Oh how time flies when you’re having fun.

The good thing about Mondays—the fresh start of a new week.

And that’s exactly what today was. I found myself leading my Spanish class (contemplating a major switch to my favorite second language) and trying to memorize my peer’s names and majors in my education class. It was quite a jam-packed morning academically.

My afternoon, not wanting to be outdone, was also full—of new friends and a new adventure.

First the new friends. Thanks to the drama—and my befriending the other bullied girl—I have been introduced to a slew of new, wonderful friends. As corny as it may sound, it has been quite the breath of fresh air. I am realizing now that no matter how much I love the friends that I hold the nearest and dearest to me, it is also nice to have a large support system made up of confidants and comrades.

We spent the afternoon dredging through homework and laughing over dumb moments in our life. And it was absolutely wonderful.

The new adventure? A pilot program here at BC called Emerging Leaders. I was selected as a candidate due to my leadership roles in high school. It is a 6-week program; an opportunity to reflect on leadership in our own lives and the world around us to prepare us to take part in leadership roles across campus in the future.

Tonight was our first meeting and it was absolutely wonderful. I love when we delve into such powerful words and their connotations like leader. I’m quite excited to see where these next few months go as we complete a service-learning project and create both friendships and form relationships with some of the heads around campus.

All-in-all it was a busy day full of class work, friends, and thoughts of the future.

I now realize how long this post has gotten so I suppose it is about time for me to go. Before we part however, I would just like to drop a little line after something was brought to my attention today. A disclosure you could say; for most of you reading here, you probably won’t understanding and that is perfect and wonderfully alright.

First, I would just like to say that I have never lied about anything on this blog. Everything that I have shared with you about my experiences at college these past months have been nothing but fact. If everyone is honest with themselves they will see that I have not claimed any falsehoods; I have shared my real emotions and events that did take place.

I have never once called anyone out particularly (especially by name) because that is not what this blog is for. This blog is for me to share my life story with those of you who so lovingly choose to join on me on my adventure—and I love each and every one of you for it.

Time Brings Understanding

I absolutely love finding new bloggies. It’s a chance to join a person’s journey through life; to learn something new about both yourself and the author, a chance to grow, and a chance for a friendship to bloom.

So today, when I got a comment from A, a new reader (Hi, A!), I couldn’t wait to check her blog out. And I absolutely fell in love. Just like that, it was an instant favorite. You should definitely go and check her story out--it is an amazing one!

And as I was reading through some of her recent posts, I stumbled across scripture that just spoke to me.

Jesus replied, "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand." (John 13:7)

Right now, in my freshman year of college, my life is at such a crossroads. Every thing that happens, both good and bad, has an effect on the person that I’m becoming. My friends, my classes, my choices—everything.

The friends that I’ve lost and the every day events that seem so monumentally difficult are just the stepping stones. Little pebbles along the path to where I’m supposed to be going, helping me become the person I’m supposed to be.

Even though at the moment I can’t seem past the frustration and hurt, and I’m left standing here asking why, I now realize that one day these moments will seem like small pebbles . Because He has greater plans for me. And one day I will understand.

Friday Five - Dream House

 

It’s Friday! And you know what that means…Friday Fives with Beth!

This week’s theme (Five Things About Your Dream Home) has got to be one of my most favorites yet! I love every thing house and home. I probably spend far to much time planning for my future one…

          

Is it crazy to say that I’m 18, and have for at least three years, known this would be my future house (1)? From the yellow siding, to the rocking chairs, and the white picket fence. It is home.

The size (2) is quite perfect. Not too big. Not too small. And with room to grow!

As to the location (3) of my future dream home, that has yet to be decided. I’m thinking somewhere on the East Coast. North Carolina? Virginia?

 

However, I do know one thing. The kitchen (4) in my dream house will look much like the all-inspiring mother, Nora Walker, from Brothers & Sisters. The white cabinets. The huge island. Beautiful.

           

And my dream house, Lord willing, will be full of many little (Croc-covered) feet (5).

How much fun was that? I can’t wait to visit Beth’s bloggie to hear about everyone’s dream homes. You should join me :)

The Key to . . . The Unliked

For the past few weeks it seems that the majority of those in my circle of friends are super stressed out, extremely touchy, and are taking the smallest of things very personally.

And I don’t know why! I don’t know if it’s the time of year; with graduation open us, final papers and projects due, the unknown of the future…everything coming together so fast.

Whatever the reason, I don’t like it.

I don’t want our last memories of each other before college to be ones of anger and guilt. I want them to be happy and carefree. I mean we’re almost done.

We’re this close to being on our own, without parents, for many of us without each other, and while it’s super scary and strange, it’s exciting! We’re getting ready to become our open people, to fully find ourselves, define ourselves.

So we should be enjoying each other. Instead of standing around and watching as relationships crumble and the bestest of friends begin to become strangers.

The Key to . . . How I Do Easter, Part 1 of 2

I’m lucky enough to have lots of family to visit over the holidays so I’m breaking it down!!

Saturday Afternoon: Dad’s family. Dinner and lots and lots of talking. Hot topic: the F-U-T-U-R-E.

Sunday Morning: Sun-rise service. Breakfast. Early service with the living cross. Hot topic: the key to the resurrection.

                                                        

 

The Key to . . . Friday Night Bites

Today, in the midst of an intriguing (read boring, though we were so excited it wasn’t made in the 80’s that we could have jumped for joy) movie about evolution, Darwin, and his brother; T, A, and I decided a dinner date was just what we needed.

When we met at our local Greek and Italian restaurant (with D, too!), we weren’t too surprised to find nearly 30 people waiting. It is everyone’s favorite place, after all. The upside to the wait, however, was being seated in the back. The hostess obviously remembers that we tend to get a bit too loud for the majority of the customers..oops! I always feel so embarrassed sitting up front and worrying about getting too loud—it’s who we are!

As we typically do, we talked and talked and talked. About mothers and fathers and college and boyfriends and teen pregnancy and about making bad choices. We laughed. We sighed.

And we weren’t even loud! I guess we didn’t need to be stuck by the bathroom after all!

For the second time, we even got to be the last table! It’s really such an honor :) You should try it sometime!

Gram: How am I doing with the air of mystery??

The Key to . . . No’s, Pros, and Hello’s

My grandmother encouraged me to start off the day (and the rest of my life, really) being open minded. To not say no so quickly. To ponder. To question. To think before I spoke.

It was an early start—for a Saturday at least; over the sixty minutes as Ms. Garmin lead us to Bridgewater, I slowly woke up. By the time we got there, parked, and found our way to the first stop of the day, I was more then ready for the continental breakfast.

Hello Count: 2

First stop: The Registration Table.

Pros: I got a t-shirt and a cool pen (oh how I love pens!).

Cons: I don’t think there were any…it was the registration table after all.

Hello Count: 4

Second stop (or thirty feet away): Dining Hall.

Pros: Good muffins. Huge dining hall. Great campus views. Cons: 0.

Hello Count: 6

Third stop: Welcoming and Introductions.

Pros: Loved the theatre they took us in; small and reminded me of an old church/playhouse and HHS.  The VP of Admissions elaborated on the community feel of BC and their love of “hello”. I enjoyed hearing the president of their Ambassador program speak about her own love for BC and the sense of community they share.

Cons: We were squished like sardines in the theatre…I did say it was small.

Hello Count: 9

Fourth stop: Student Panel. (For the Parents—a Parents’ Panel)

Pros: I cannot stress how much I love that they separated us from our parents’! Normally, I would have been a little..oh, what’s the word? anxious, about being away from my parents’ but I felt really comfortable…must have been the hellos. In front of a panel of six ambassadors, we were given the opportunity to write down questions for them to each answer in front of us. Because they were obviously different people, with different personalities and backgrounds, they all gave different insights on BC as a whole. The size. The classes. The athletics. The clubs. The opportunities. The community. The one thing that reigned supreme? Their love for BC.

Cons: Being herded for the second time to another too small room..I guess when your student population is 1500, you don’t need huge rooms.

Hello Count: over 15

Fifth stop: Meet and Greet with Department Heads and Coaches.

Pros: Reunited with the family in the Funkhouser Center, I recapped the student panel, talked to a business teacher, talked to one of the students who had led the panel, looked at the education table, and picked up a course catalog from this term.

Cons: 0.

Hello Count: 25

Sixth stop: Campus Tour.

Pros: Got to see nearly everything; classrooms, lecture halls, dorm rooms, the library (so important to Mother Dearest), computer labs, other dining areas, and the campus book store.

Cons: It was a trek…though the campus is a mere square mile, it felt A LOT longer going up and down stairs and stopping and starting.

Hello Count: Lost Count

At the beginning of our journey, my grandmother cautioned me to refrain from saying no. And I did…or tried to. Their were times, like in the theatre and on the tour, that I would have liked to say no, but I didn’t.

I let myself envision Hannah in Bridgewater. Alone. Without the parental units. To let the tours of UMW and SU fly out the window. To really think. Do I want a small class size? Absolutely. Do I want my professors’ to know me personally? A must. Do I want to feel at home? Yes, please. Is it close to home? A little over an hour from home, not too bad.

As the VP of Admissions said; it’s about finding the best fit for you. No where is the perfect fit; that’s home. But it’s about finding your home away from home. And I think I just might’ve found it.

The Key to . . . A Great New Year

Xin Nian Kuai Le! Feliz Ano~Nuevo! Kenourios Chronos! Happy New Year!!

My 2010 is starting off wonderfully…not! I came home from work Wednesday feeling terrible and I haven’t gotten much better. After laying in bed most of New Year’s Eve, I ventured out to my aunt’s house for a yummy dinner of seafood, coleslaw, and French fries. And while we had a blast planning our weekend trips for 2010, I woke up Friday morning feeling so, so much worse. On the bright side, the only place 2010 can go from here is

I can look back and say that 2009 was a pretty good year. There were some sad times, some happy times, some bad times, and some pretty darn great times. I only hope that 2010 is all that and more. I’m going to turn 18, graduate from high school, start college in another town, and become an even better me! And I can’t wait :)

And does Mr. Franklin have it right, or what?

“Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man.”

Eli Jacob

Over spring break I was lucky enough to spend two days with the newest family member....newest not for long, Lea is due with baby Sophia any day now!

Saturday we hunted for Easter eggs and colored, laying pretty low for that side of the family. We talked about missing Roo. For the first time in my life (or the life I can remember) I heard Shane have something more to say then a grunt--he was actually quite a talker and seemed to have a lot to do. I guess having been a drunken stupor for the last however many years have given him lots of unused words!

Sunday was Easter and we got up for Sunrise service, breakfast, church, and then a quick trip home to change before shuffling back to WV. Spent the early afternoon at Lisa's house. It was the first major holiday since Memaw had died and the absence was definitely noticed. Grandma and her sisters sent some time analyzing the cake that Memaw always made. At first it was sad, but it got pretty ridiculous fast--Memaw would have hated it!

We then headed back to Meme's for Easter egg hunting and more Eli-holding!

Lots of pictures for you...so be patient!!!

Here is the temporarily newest member of the family, Eli Jacob.

Snoozing in a Longaberger basket…definitely belongs with us! I can’t wait until I have my first baby so that I can have the Newspaper Longaberger basket that held blankets in my own nursery—I can already see Jude/Julian/Cooper/Audrey sleeping in it for photo sessions!

Emmie shows me her dyed hands…she’s going green y’all!

Bekah and Cate coloring on the floor, Saturday.

Mom and Aunt Sherry being their craaaazy selves!

We’re missing Grand Forrest!

Going abstract!

Dad turns the camera on the photographer herself…

The Bekster and me…no editing as you can tell.

Cate looking so darn adorable while hunting for eggs! (Bekah took this one, but I edited.)

Edit: After today's post the font color is hard to read due to change in layout...highlight with cursor to read :)

An Extension of the Rant

So it seems fitting that the day after I rant about the future SAT scores come. Now I planned this SAT, as stated in previous posts, as a "feeler" test--good thing being since Memaw died the day before..timing, I know. Came back pretty much as I expected...I killed CR, did miserable on math, and did satisfactory on Writing. I'm taking another one in June so I have to be studying!!!

Other then that the day was good...baby-sitting calls poured in all afternoon. I guess parents' want their Spring Breaks, too. It's fine with me as long as they're ones I enjoy babysitting and of course, extra money never hurt anyone- especially this time of year.

Time After Time

Does it seem that as you get older the days seem to go by that much faster? It's already the last nine weeks of my junior year and I can barely believe it.

I just came back from a "study" group with A and B and we ended up talking about what we usually do-the past and the future. I joked that I wanted to stay a kid forever, turn the dial back ten years, etc. I was surprised that B actually agreed with me- finally someone who understands!

I feel like I'm settling for the future. Ever since I decided teaching wasn't something I should do I've been kind of just moving through school. I surprised myself when I said I had "settled" on JMU. Was it where I had always imagined myself going? Absolutely not, but it'll probably be where I go and that scares me. I always promised myself that I didn't want to be someone who had a job they hated and at this point I don't even know what I want to do and that is even more terrifying. I'm someone who's planned my ENTIRE life. I know what house I want, the kind of man I want to marry, the names of my four (yes that too) kids. I can see where I want to be ten years from now, but not ten months from now. I wish I could skip this last year of high school and the years of college for that period of certainty, or period I have planned to be certain. Hopefully one day I'll wake up and just be like, bam, that's what I wanna do because editing certainly isn't just going to happen to me!

On a brighter note that weekend was good- too short, but good. Three more days until Spring "Weekend." I ended up being at school most of the day on Saturday for yearbook, but we got it all done! And after Palm Sunday service I spent the afternoon at the Grands' having lunch before coming home and diving into homework...yeah!!! Here are some photos I happened to snap between the gusts of wind- this spring weather. (70 yesterday, barely 40 and snowing tomorrow!)

Planning to plant these in the same container

as my lavendar which is struggling to de-winterize.

This was a random shot, but I think it turned out cool.

My beautiful Meredith Grey.

TGIF!

It's FRIDAY!!! Let's do a little dance.

Another good, grey day. A day two is always a good day...even if it does mean Physics! Tomorrow I have to be in a school at 7:30 for our final Saturday of working on the yearbook. Every things gotta be done by midnight tomorrow night so we don't have charges for next week...it's hard to explain how the contract works! It'll be fun, though, with music and lots and lots of food!

Still haven't got to meet Eli. Recently our hospital has changed their regulations- you can't even get into the rooms without having an arm band so we're waiting until they're home to visit. I promised pictures so I'll end with some from his surprise baby shower. I had just gotten my Nikon D40 and was getting used to it so bear with me!

Eli's Diaper Cake (At first I thought it was a real cake!)

Cate-r-bug

Playing in the Mirror with Cate

Storm the Villages with Torches

I know, you don't even have to say a word!

I've been working and working on this blog header and it's obviously still not up-probably because I can't come up for a name, but I think I've got it now. Definitely by the end of this weekend every thing will be complete...I'll let ya know. I'm deciding what all I want on the side still.

Enough about the blog you say? How am I?

Wellll, for the first time in a long time I'm have a really, really good week which is very surprisng. We get like final grades before report cards and even though mine are less then where I want them to be lately I just can't stay in a bad mood for long. I think I've figured out the secret for snapping out of a bad mood--will def. share later! Other than that I've been managing my time and finding time to read AGAIN! I just finished a book called Thirteen Reasons Why that I will definitely be doing its own blog post on sometime in the near future that's how empowering it was. The month has flown by and it's almost April...in like three hours. While that means the year is almost over it also means I am that much closer to be a........SENIOR! Scary, I know!

Gots to go; once the header's up I'll devote the time I've been spending on that to this nightly!