I just came back from a "study" group with A and B and we ended up talking about what we usually do-the past and the future. I joked that I wanted to stay a kid forever, turn the dial back ten years, etc. I was surprised that B actually agreed with me- finally someone who understands!
I feel like I'm settling for the future. Ever since I decided teaching wasn't something I should do I've been kind of just moving through school. I surprised myself when I said I had "settled" on JMU. Was it where I had always imagined myself going? Absolutely not, but it'll probably be where I go and that scares me. I always promised myself that I didn't want to be someone who had a job they hated and at this point I don't even know what I want to do and that is even more terrifying. I'm someone who's planned my ENTIRE life. I know what house I want, the kind of man I want to marry, the names of my four (yes that too) kids. I can see where I want to be ten years from now, but not ten months from now. I wish I could skip this last year of high school and the years of college for that period of certainty, or period I have planned to be certain. Hopefully one day I'll wake up and just be like, bam, that's what I wanna do because editing certainly isn't just going to happen to me!
On a brighter note that weekend was good- too short, but good. Three more days until Spring "Weekend." I ended up being at school most of the day on Saturday for yearbook, but we got it all done! And after Palm Sunday service I spent the afternoon at the Grands' having lunch before coming home and diving into homework...yeah!!! Here are some photos I happened to snap between the gusts of wind- this spring weather. (70 yesterday, barely 40 and snowing tomorrow!)
Planning to plant these in the same container
as my lavendar which is struggling to de-winterize.
This was a random shot, but I think it turned out cool.
My beautiful Meredith Grey.
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