Monday, April 6, 2009

Time After Time

Does it seem that as you get older the days seem to go by that much faster? It's already the last nine weeks of my junior year and I can barely believe it.

I just came back from a "study" group with A and B and we ended up talking about what we usually do-the past and the future. I joked that I wanted to stay a kid forever, turn the dial back ten years, etc. I was surprised that B actually agreed with me- finally someone who understands!

I feel like I'm settling for the future. Ever since I decided teaching wasn't something I should do I've been kind of just moving through school. I surprised myself when I said I had "settled" on JMU. Was it where I had always imagined myself going? Absolutely not, but it'll probably be where I go and that scares me. I always promised myself that I didn't want to be someone who had a job they hated and at this point I don't even know what I want to do and that is even more terrifying. I'm someone who's planned my ENTIRE life. I know what house I want, the kind of man I want to marry, the names of my four (yes that too) kids. I can see where I want to be ten years from now, but not ten months from now. I wish I could skip this last year of high school and the years of college for that period of certainty, or period I have planned to be certain. Hopefully one day I'll wake up and just be like, bam, that's what I wanna do because editing certainly isn't just going to happen to me!

On a brighter note that weekend was good- too short, but good. Three more days until Spring "Weekend." I ended up being at school most of the day on Saturday for yearbook, but we got it all done! And after Palm Sunday service I spent the afternoon at the Grands' having lunch before coming home and diving into homework...yeah!!! Here are some photos I happened to snap between the gusts of wind- this spring weather. (70 yesterday, barely 40 and snowing tomorrow!)

Planning to plant these in the same container
as my lavendar which is struggling to de-winterize.

This was a random shot, but I think it turned out cool.

My beautiful Meredith Grey.
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