Showing posts with label Hannah: Unedited. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hannah: Unedited. Show all posts

Sunday, November 6, 2011

A Thank You Letter: To You & to Him

I remember reading this quote during what Laura Story would call a trial of of my life last year and shaking my head. I had faith, a flicker of hope, somewhere down deep inside me. I knew He had a reason, a purpose for the tears and the sleepless nights. I just didn’t know what it was.

Jesus replied, "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand." (John 13:7)

And even once that season of my life had passed and I was surrounded by happier times, I still wasn’t quite sure what exactly had happened—I didn’t fully understand why He had done what He had done, just that He had played a major role in it.

But this evening, as I randomly began to reflect over the changes I’ve seen in myself over the past year with my friend B, it came together like the snap of a finger. A neat little gift all wrapped and waiting for me. I understood what He had done.

Because the sleepless nights, the tears, that trial of my life—they were now overshadowed by so many larger blessings.

He did have a bigger plan for me.

A plan that I couldn’t have ever hoped, dreamed, or even thought to pray about because I didn’t even know it was something that I desired or needed.

But He did.

From that trial came: the befriending of a wonderful AC, the active involvement in a campus club that has reached epic proportions this year—and continues to grow—, the meeting and befriending of so many different people (including peers, professors, faculty, and another awesome AC) across campus that I wouldn’t have had the chance to meet otherwise.

That is perhaps the biggest blessing that I pinpointed during my time of reflection—my growth from an extremely shy person to a girl who is quite a bit more willing to put herself out there. To meet others, to make friends, to have a full and fulfilling life here at BC.

And He knew that was what I needed. He knew how to make that happen.

Sure it came with few tears and a little bit of heartache along the way, but all I needed to do was have faith.

And I will remember that moving forward. I will carry His words with me during future trials. I might not understand in the moment, even weeks or months later, but one day it will happen—you will understand His plans for you. You just must simply—have faith.

Because we started with Laura Story, let’s end with her, too—her words have helped to put all of this into even clearer perspective.

 

And because I can’t stop exploring my newest obsession, Pinterest, a few pins, too?

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I hope each of you are having a fabulous weekend! I can’t wait to hear all about them—and share our adventures, too :)

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Hannah: Unedited

When I came home from college at the beginning of the summer, I started journaling separately from this blog in an old journal for only me, myself, and I to read. There were things I wanted to say, memories I wanted to keep, that I didn’t feel completely comfortable sharing here. I absolutely love blogging, but sometimes I worry about exactly how much I share with the entire world. I worry more about how what I share reflects on me. But don’t we all?

But this week, as I was busy scribbling down my thoughts, I realized that sharing some of what I journal, some of my honest, raw thoughts, may actually help others…maybe you. And it could even, quite possibly, help me. So stick with me, my friends, as I share some of Hannah: Unedited with you.

~

(copied exactly from my journal entry dated July 6, 2011)

On Sunday’s PostSecret, there was a card that keeps popping back into my mind. I can’t remember the picture, but the words: “I wish my depression could understand how great my life really is so it would leave me alone.”

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I’m not depressed—far from that dark time so many months ago. But I just wish I could totally appreciate the life—my family, friends, talents, everything!-that I have been blessed with. Too often I dwell on the past and other unimportant things and I need to stop and learn exactly what it takes to be me with all the joys that surround me each day. I need to start living totally for myself and not for the benefit and purpose of others.

I just need to figure out how.

~

And there is a little glimpse into my mind (maybe we’ll try this again). I swear, it is a scary place. I overanalyze, over-think, and over-process everything that happens to me. Everything. And I wish I could stop.

Just like I wish I could stop dwelling on the past and begin living in the present. I know with every ounce of my being that I have a great and wonderful life—I just need to start living it.

I just wish I knew where to start.