A Letter: Revisited

Well as of 8:34 this morning, sophomore year was officially over.

And that means that besides it being SUMMER!!, it is also time to read and respond to the letter that I wrote myself in August.

Truth be told, however, I may have read the letter last week. But at least I saved responding to it until the official end of the year :)

So I figured that I would just copy a few parts of the letter (you can read it in it’s entirety here) to read and reflect on.

-

From my wish-list/to-do list…

:: Wednesday night IHOP runs.

There was only one IHOP night this semester, but there were quite a few last fall. Filled with pancakes and hot chocolate with whipped cream and lots of being loud with friends, nestled in a booth in the corner. I’m pretty sure we’re the costumers that every waitress fears getting stuck with—the loud and boisterous ones who joke and laugh through their meals.

IHOP nights might have slacked off, but Sheetz runs…oh my goodness. I am pretty sure that B and I spent every other night there last semester. And this semester there was just as many late night fried food and Slurpee trips.

:: Continue my no soda pact.

Mmm. Sorta.

I definitely don’t have it nearly as much as I used to…not even one a week. But I have had a few Cokes to get me through the late nights and rough days.

:: Take a nightly walk on the river.

This is one that I’m incredibly sad to say didn’t happen. B and I took many walks…in the daytime. We didn’t get down to the river at night this year, though :(

:: Try the You are Beautiful experiment.

Another thing I dropped the ball on…next year I am for sure doing this!

:: Do something big, spontaneously.

Mmm. Another thing I don’t think that I really did.

I guess I’m too much of a planner.

:: Go to Greece and Italy with the bestie.

Heck yes! We definitely did this and we did it well. There was lots of food, lots of wandering, and lots of wine. A trip that I will definitely remember for a lifetime.

I would go back in a heartbeat!

:: Miss my family and my cats.

I don’t think it is possible to explain how much I miss my family and my cats when I’m at school.

Yes, BC may be my place, but there are still those days where you want nothing more than a hug from your momma or a nap with your cat.

:: Take a drive to Moscow.

Didn’t happen :(

:: Turn my back on drama.

Two words: wishful thinking.

:: Be too loud.

Of course! Probably to the chagrin of some others.

:: Be a friend.

There is so, so much that I have learned about being a friend this year.

I started off strong on the whole, being a friend thing. There were many late nights and kitchen talks and river walks. Sitting around for hours just talking, from one random thing to the next. Then there were other conversations rooted in seriousness, faith and trust.

But then, I hate to even admit this, I kind of dropped the ball on some of the friendships that I hold nearest and dearest to me. I didn’t put as much time, care, and love into them as friendships truly need.

And by some great grace of God, I have been blessed with a group of friends who have not deserted me in my time of mindlessness and misgivings. These girls have stood by me, weathering this storm, and for that and for them, I will forever and ever be grateful. I know that I couldn’t have gotten through this semester without them.

So it is my duty now to go forth and be great friends to them once again. To remember their love for me and to return it tenfold.

:: Speak kindly and smile.

I know there have been many times this year that I haven’t spoken kindly. A few too many for my taste.

But overall, I think that I have spoken kindly.

And smiled through it all. Mostly.

:: Always love.

Kind of like speaking kindly…I know that there are times that I should have loved better.

:: Enjoy every singly minute of being a poorer-than-poor, college student.

Check.

There were many adventures had, many memories made, and a few mistakes…well, life lessons that needed to be learned, I suppose.

I want May 2012 Hannah to read this and smile, mentally checking off each of the must-do’s and adding all the other great memories that were made over the course of this next year.

I want May 2012 Hannah to be happy, and healthy and confident. I want her to be…wonderful.

So to May 2012  Hannah, I hope it has been one heck of year.  That you’ve done all these things and more. That you stayed true to yourself, hold some great friendships near to your heart, and found out even more about yourself.

I hope that when there were the bad days you remembered that these were still the best days of your life; that you were blessed and loved and could do anything your heart and mind desired to do.

Here’s to the next leg of our journey.

I don’t even know how to respond to this last little part.

Because the truth is, right now I don’t feel too happy or confident.

It’s been one heck of a year, I’ll give it that. A great one even, I’m not going to deny it.

I continue to hold many friendships near and dear to me and I have learned more lessons than I can count. If there is one thing that I can say without wavering: I have learned so much about myself this semester, this year really.

But it wasn’t all good days. We have to have the bad days to enjoy the greatness of good ones I guess.

The highs have been as high as the lows have been low.

The latest leg of my journey has not gone as expected and I find myself in one of life’s valleys. But I’m working through it and I know that the hill I’m going to come out of on the other side will be bright and sunny and beautiful.

I will not let this little bump in the road overshadow all the good days.

So here’s to finding the happy, confident Hannah once more.

-

Well that was a neat little experiment. One that I definitely think I will be trying again.

I’ve thrown myself into writing this semester. In my journal, writing letters I’ll never send, blogging.

It’s such a great way to document your life and the lessons that you’ve learned. And oh goodness, going back and rereading them—you don’t know whether to cry or to laugh. I guess that’s growing, though, right?

I guess since this is kind of a wrap-up of my year, how about the annual end of year video? For some reason, Vimeo isn’t letting me embed the video, but here’s the link: http://vimeo.com/41533724!

I hope everyone is having a good week! :)