I really don’t know why this post took so much energy to write.
I feel like I should have so many things that I could say as I reflect back upon my freshman year of college. Maybe it’s because it hasn’t fully hit me yet that I’m actually done—even though my room is all unpacked and re-moved into and grades are slowly being posted to WebAdvisor.
I just can’t shake the feeling that there’s something I should be doing; a chapter to read, a paper to write, a friend to go talk to, a walk to take. Instead my days are a sea of nothingness (and that’s how they will stay until I begin work in mid-June) and for the first time in months I have absolutely nothing to do. I’m no longer constantly surrounded by friends and even though we’ve taken to texting as our way of staying tied together along the East Coast, there’s just something so strange about not having a friend with me 24/7.
But back to my freshman reflection…
The one word that keeps popping into my head as I think about these past months is change. How cliché, right? I mean everyone expects to change during college, but no one really tells you exactly how much it will change you.
My beliefs: Where my opinion on certain subjects once seemed so concrete from government to religion, I found myself wavering near the middle ground considering viewpoints that I once would have balked at. While I’m still just as stubborn as I’ve always been, I’ve become quite enlightened and less closed-minded.
My judgments: Where I once judged others for certain actions and choices that they made, I found myself giving them the benefit of the doubt and accepting their decisions as their own. It’s college; this is the time to experiment, to try new things (even if you later realize they were stupid things to be trying) and to be a little crazy.
My actions: Where I once considered myself the epitome of the girl any guy would love to bring home to mom and dad, I have realized that it doesn’t mean I can’t have fun (and be a little crazy), too. While I’m certainly not going out and doing anything that will reflect poorly upon myself, I don’t have to be as guarded and cautious as I have always been.
The other two phrases that pop into my head—besides change—are pre and post-January. It was the fulcrum of my freshman year; the month when everything changed. The months before were comfortable and happy. The ones after found me finding my little niche at Bridgewater, finding the friends who helped bring about all this change; they were the months of fun and adventure.
And while the month of January wasn’t the best one, I believe that everything happened for a reason. The friends that I had/have during both sections will always remain a special part of my first year at Bridgewater. I wouldn’t take a single second of any of it back…nada. It all made me who I am today, a soon-to-be sophomore in college and I’m pretty darn happy with that person. So if you’re reading this and you’re one of those people—thank you from the bottom most part of my heart. Thank you for putting up with me, for sticking by me, for being my friend, for helping to change me. I will cherish our memories together (and for many of you, all the many more we will make) and love you forever!
So wrapping up this super long post (thank you if you’re still reading!!), the show has gone on and I have changed (hopefully for the better) during this first year at college. I’ve made some awesome, lifelong friends and I cannot wait so see what new, crazy adventures we will find ourselves getting into next year.
If you’re still reading—because this has been a whopper of a post, but I just had to write it for my 38 year old future self—I asked some of my friends to give me songs that summarized their first year of college. I then set the best of our pictures together to their tunes as a nice little memory of our freshman year.
I would now like to take this opportunity to warn you that there are some less than PC lyrics in a few of the songs, but I still wanted to share our journey not only through my eyes, but theirs as well.